DISCLAIMER: This is NOT meant for anyone. The rain, the portico, the pillow-issue and the pretty girl in front of me just made a conducive mood for a cute(?!!!?) and nice(?:P) post like this.
You make me think of pillows.
And yes, if I try, I could imagine an entire conversation with you.
It would probably include references to shagging, nursing, people we both know, people we'd rather not know, food - anything under the sun, really - we both tend to be unorthodox anyway.
Then you'd try to taunt me, and I'd find myself wishing for a pillow so I could hit you with it.
That's usually why you make me think of pillows. I want to - need to - hit you, but I know I can't hurt you. I can't, in the same way that I won't cut my head off on purpose. I just can't.
Maybe that's when I know I care.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Sometimes, when you're all sad and emo and Dear World WHY, you make me think of pillows.
I find myself looking for a pillow because I want to squish you until you're all better.
A pillow's nearer, and yes, even though I know that squishing a pillow won't help you in any way, I still need to find one.
Maybe it's as much of a need to comfort you and squish you as it is of a need to be there for you all the time. I don't know, really. And I don't care anymore.
Because sometimes, you're my pillow. When I need to cry and wail and bawl and do all of those teary tearful tear-filled tear-something things, you try to be there.
I know I can't always have a pillow. I can't always have you, either.
Knowing that, though, means I have to try not to cry and need a little less, and in some weird way, that makes me feel better, because then I know I'm trying to be stronger.
And yes, you make me smile, as might a pillow. I come home and see pillows on the bed and think of comfort and safety and all those warm happy things, and it's the same way it is with you and sometimes, even if you're not there, I think that maybe you'd want to be there anyway and that's enough.
I can't fall in love with a pillow. I can't fall in love with you, either.
But the thing is, if it's all I can have right now, it's enough.
It's more than enough, even, and I wouldn't trade pillow-ness for anything.
Because this, with you, is worth more to me than something less with someone else, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
:)))
***
(SKIP THIS PART IF YOU'RE NOT INTO READING. haha)
(SKIP THIS PART IF YOU'RE NOT INTO READING. haha)
I'm buying new pillows tomorrow!
Haven't I mentioned about ze facial and back allergy?
They're pretty obvious if you see me everyday in school.
I usually use my hair to cover them despite my derma's warning.
I've been on oral antibiotic therapy for two weeks last month and the month before that but nothing happened.
The doctor suspected it to be of fungal origin so I also took oral anti-fungal medications for two weeks.
I can only imagine my liver's workload.
I couldn't stand the ineffectivity of the meds anymore so I tried on a simple experimental pursuit basing on our Epidemiologic Investigation lecture.
1.) Identify possible causative agents.
I acknowledged my doc's suspicion of a fungal infection. It would really break my heart if it's bacterial because I'm a freak when it comes to face and hand hygiene.
2.) Note risk factors.
Okay, so I had my towel, my powder sponge, my hair, the toothpaste (and mouthwash), my earphones, and my bath soap (since I use a different soap for mi face). I never thought of my pillows, right.
The plastic that contained it claimed that it was hypo-allergenic and washable. Arrgh. I got easily swayed, that's why.
3.) Eliminate all the risk factors.
Changed towels twice instead of the usual once a week.
Washed my sponge every other day.
Made sure that no toothpaste/mouthwash residue was left on my face after every brushing.
Never let earphone wires touch my face (aside from regularly disinfecting them).
Was also very careful that no single sud from my body soap should touch my face whenever I bathe.
I did all these for two weeks plus a healthy diet (skipped pork and beef and fastfood) with adequate to excessive water intake. Sadly, nothing happened.
4.) I thought the pillows were taking a toll on my slouched posture so I decided to lie flat on bed one night and the three nights that followed. After then, I noticed a gradual decrease in rash size (both face and back). Yey?
That remained an assumption until my 8PM-2AM and 4AM-8AM study shift last weekend. Was always to eager to sleep hence forgetting the posture concern. I did that for four nights and the rashes revealed themselves again.
HAHA.
I usually use my hair to cover them despite my derma's warning.
I've been on oral antibiotic therapy for two weeks last month and the month before that but nothing happened.
The doctor suspected it to be of fungal origin so I also took oral anti-fungal medications for two weeks.
I can only imagine my liver's workload.
I couldn't stand the ineffectivity of the meds anymore so I tried on a simple experimental pursuit basing on our Epidemiologic Investigation lecture.
1.) Identify possible causative agents.
I acknowledged my doc's suspicion of a fungal infection. It would really break my heart if it's bacterial because I'm a freak when it comes to face and hand hygiene.
2.) Note risk factors.
Okay, so I had my towel, my powder sponge, my hair, the toothpaste (and mouthwash), my earphones, and my bath soap (since I use a different soap for mi face). I never thought of my pillows, right.
The plastic that contained it claimed that it was hypo-allergenic and washable. Arrgh. I got easily swayed, that's why.
3.) Eliminate all the risk factors.
Changed towels twice instead of the usual once a week.
Washed my sponge every other day.
Made sure that no toothpaste/mouthwash residue was left on my face after every brushing.
Never let earphone wires touch my face (aside from regularly disinfecting them).
Was also very careful that no single sud from my body soap should touch my face whenever I bathe.
I did all these for two weeks plus a healthy diet (skipped pork and beef and fastfood) with adequate to excessive water intake. Sadly, nothing happened.
4.) I thought the pillows were taking a toll on my slouched posture so I decided to lie flat on bed one night and the three nights that followed. After then, I noticed a gradual decrease in rash size (both face and back). Yey?
That remained an assumption until my 8PM-2AM and 4AM-8AM study shift last weekend. Was always to eager to sleep hence forgetting the posture concern. I did that for four nights and the rashes revealed themselves again.
HAHA.
The last two paragraphs were supposedly the experimentation, conclusion, validation, etc. parts.
I hope I made sense, at least?
***
I hope I made sense, at least?
***
And for the last look...
Look #4
Location: Culasi, Roxas City
Theme: White? Basta, haha.
:)))
I haven't posted anything related to medschool yet so let this be the first...
You'll be seeing more of us in the next ten months...
We are the Super Siete Crew! :D
I'm lovin' this week--nontoxic!
Expect another post tomorrow!
Much love,
Mela
